The MBTI® Judging and Perceiving Preferences are based on how we choose to live our lives, and whether or not we enjoy the regimented schedule that comes with a structured life or the living-in-the-moment spontaneity that comes with a more carefree approach. The J-P Personality Types are the last letters of your four-letter MBTI Personality Type. Looking at Myers-Briggs relationships, an individual either has a P for a Perceiving Type, or a J for a Judging Type. The two different preferences include those who prefer to be in control of situations (those with the Judging Preference) and those who enjoy the flexibility that comes with allowing the moment to determine the future (those with the Perceiving Preference). Interestingly, this preference is highly dictated by the presence of the outside world and other people, especially at work. It is important to point out that having an MBTI Judging preference does not mean that you are a judgmental person, it simply means that you prefer to be more scheduled, are more of an organized type of person, and prefer a more structured life then that of a Perceiving Type.

Image courtesy of pat138241 /

Image courtesy of pat138241 /

Those with the Myers-Briggs® Judging Preference are often made up of individuals that enjoy quick resolutions, quick turnarounds, and are quick decision-makers. When in public and at work, Judging Types are often seen as highly regimented and organized, while being a bit more flexible during their personal time. Those with the Perceiving Type Preference, on the other hand, are often drawn to the flexible and spontaneous part of life, and tend to experience stress when structure and order are forced upon them, or when they are asked to make quick choices without ample time to weigh each option.

Myers-Briggs Relationships with The Two Opposite Judging and Perceiving Personality Types

The differences between The Judging and Perceiving personality Types can bring them together in the initial stages of courtships and relationships. Their opposite attributes create a sense of harmony between the two partners. At the beginning of the relationship, even if conflict does arise, resolution is not far off. In the case of longer relationships, however, an opposite-preference match can often lead to significant confrontation and problems, that if not properly handled, can lead to resentment and eventually the end of a relationship. A sense of aversion can form between the pair, where certain aspects of each individual are seen as annoying and frustrating while other parts of their personality make their partner swoon. Usually, though, these undesirable situations do not show themselves until further on in the relationship. At the beginning, each individual works to impress his or her partner by showcasing only their desirable attributes—Judging Types will hide their regimented tendencies and try their hand at being more flexible, and Perceiving Types will reign in their spontaneity and try to appear more organized.

Areas of Conflict

When issues do arise between two opposites, more often than not, problems arise as a result of a Judging Type becoming irritated with a Perceiver’s living-in-the-moment nature. A Perceiving Type can also experience aggravation with a Judging Type’s constant need for structure. Judging Personality Types may find a Perceivers lack of follow-through to also be irritating, especially if they continuously discuss an action without bringing that action into fruition. Meanwhile, Perceivers will feel pressured and bothered by their partner’s need to control how things are done, feeling disheartened by the Judging Type’s preconceived notions of what is correct. With such differing views on how life should be lived and conducted, each member of the couple will try to get the other to change their ways, or to at least become more moderate in their lifestyle tendencies. Restricting either the Judging Personality Type or the Perceiving Type will be met with resistance: a Perceiver trying to change a Judger’s rigid schedule will cause frustration while a Judging Type who tries to restrict a Perceiver’s freedom will create opposition. If the couple continues to try and force each other to find middle ground (especially if the Perceiver and Judging Type are categorized at the extreme ends of their respective preferences), the relationship would not last very long. However, if each individual can understand the preference qualities of their partner and how to react to them, they can build a healthy and fruitful relationship.

Even in Myers-Briggs relationships where both individuals have a Judging preference, it is not uncommon for one individual to hold a distinctively more Judging roll than the other, as relationships do require some natural order to them. This person usually handles the more mundane tasks of the relationship, keeping practicalities orderly and working. For opposite-preference couples who are looking for maturity and compromise in their relationship, having an opposite preference as a partner is a great opportunity for personal growth and development, with their partner balancing out their less appealing qualities and teaching them how to be more accepting of how the other half lives. Through a certain amount of time spent with one another, it is even possible for strong-ended preferences to become more moderate in their lifestyle, picking up the personality differences that they find appealing about their partner. For this harmony to occur, the most important point of all is for Judging and Perceiving Types to understand that their partner’s preferential tendencies are completely natural, and that these behaviors are in no way employed to annoy or disturb the other person.

Myers-Briggs Relationships with Two Judging Personality Types

A relationship formed of two MBTI Assessment Judging Types is one that requires less proactive preference understanding, as each person ultimately appreciates his or her partner’s desire for order, neatness, and structure, whether in their home or in their work and life schedules. They are often very committed to their partner and resolve conflict as soon as it arises in order to keep their relationship strong. However, the rigid time management of Judging Types can make it hard for them to make time for one another, and if one of them needs to be more lenient in order to accomplish this, issues can arise when neither one wants to be proven wrong or give in to the other’s wishes.

Relationships with Two Perceiving Personality Types

Conversely, two Perceivers who enter in a relationship have a mutual respect for their partner’s desire for space and liberty to do as they wish, without the pressures of strict boundaries or schedules. They thoroughly enjoy spending time with one another, doing anything that pleases them at that moment. However, the drawback of a Perceiver-Perceiver relationship lies in their sometime mutual inability to complete tasks consistently and on time, especially around the home. They also both may fail to fulfill certain responsibilities at work, in their lives, their health, or in other areas, which can create problems between the two Perceivers.

Tips for a Healthy Relationship with a Judging Personality

To ease issues in a relationship and to keep couples happy, there are certain practices that can help one live in harmony with a Perceiving Type or a Judging Personality Type. For example, to best get along with a Judging Type, reminding yourself to help facilitate the Judging Type’s organized lifestyle is extremely beneficial, even in what may seem like simple tasks: keeping tidy, cleaning up after oneself, completing any housework, etc. Always be courteous with a Judging Type’s time and belongings, and follow through with what you say you will be doing (no matter how trivial you may deem the task to be). If you say that you will attend an event or make plans to do something, do not back out. Be succinct and clear with your answers to queries, and respond in the simplest terms possible (a yes or no often suffices). Be forward with your physical desires, and understand that your physically intimate moments may need to be planned ahead to fit into the Judging Type’s schedule. It also behooves the partner of a Judging Type to not shock or surprise the Judging Type with anything that may deter from his or her schedule. It is best to make sure that whatever you are hoping to do for a Judging Personality Type Individual is something that they mostly expect and can therefore prepare for.

Tips for a Healthy Relationship with a Perceiving Personality

Likewise, being proactive and utilizing certain techniques can help one get along with a Perceiver. For example, the worst thing to do to a Perceiver is to restrict them in anyway, or to make them feel as though they cannot make their own decisions. Give the Perceiver the room to be free and make spontaneous decisions about how they spend their time. Be patient with Perceivers that are confined by a schedule for work or in their personal life, as this can have an adverse effect on the Perceiver’s productivity and overall personality for the time being—stress can bring out the worst in them. If you ask something of a Perceiver, try not to dictate exactly how you would like it to be done, as they often have their own way of accomplishing things. It also helps to avoid continuously reminding them of tasks that they have not yet completed, as this will make them feel even more pressured. However, if it is extremely pertinent that the Perceiving Type individual follows a specific timeline or guideline for a task, make it known to the Perceiver right away so they will not have to shift gears. If you can, provide the Perceiver with a broad deadline as opposed to a strict one. When it comes to physical intimacy, understand that the urges of a Perceiver often arise spontaneously and more often than with Judging Types. Perceiving Types enjoy a certain level of adventure in their physicality, and this can be beneficial for the relationship overall. Lastly, allow ample time for the Perceiver to make a decision, and do not be alarmed if they change their mind a few times before coming to a conclusion.

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