There are times when avoiding is necessary and times when it can be used inappropriately and inefficiently. Using an avoiding style at the wrong time during a conflict situation at work or during personal times can prove to be detrimental to situations, goals and outcomes. The following are times when to use, and not to use The TKI test Avoiding Mode.
- Avoid anger and the blame game
It might seem easier to isolate one or two persons out of a group and focus on what they did wrong, though you will see that this will not get you very far in solving the problem at hand. Instead using your TKI test results to try to work out a better solution by improving the management process by controlling your impulse to be over emotional and subjective. Try to stay objective and focus on the future and what can be bettered so that the same mistakes do not repeat themselves.
Avoid controversies with little upside
There are some issues that are simply not important enough to attribute time to with little reward. These issues should be put aside and avoided, as they are not worth spending valuable time and resources.
- Avoid controversies that are symptoms of other Issues
When we have issues before us it is important to get to the heart of the matter and not use precious time on surface issues that are merely caused by the root of another problem. For instance, often enough you might find that conflicts arise in the workplace and in personal settings that represent deeper problems. Perhaps there is an unusual amount of discontent between co-workers regarding items such as office temperature, kitchen items, and minor scheduling. These are usually issues relating to a larger problem among co-workers that should be attended to. Recall that administering The TKI Instrument to several employees who work together can be of great benefit in this area and can often uncover the heart of problems by examining conflict handling styles and how these differ from person to person.
- Know when to postpone an issue
It is important to be aware when it time to step back, re-focus and take-a-break. There are several things you can do while re-focusing to be more effective. You can gather more information; change the setting or meeting place- a change in scenery to a more neutral and quieter environment can often make you feel more at ease and make it easier when faced with a conflict management issue. You might want to consider an offsite setting in this scenario such as a restaurant, golf course or perhaps a fishing boat. The idea here is to choose a more serene setting to calm your nerves and those around you (Kenneth T. CPP, 2002).
The most important item when deciding whether to avoid or not is to decide what is important. In order to avoid the unimportant, you need to know the important. Here are some tips with ideas discussed in the booklet Introduction To Conflict Management by Kenneth Thomas:
- Be sure about what you want to achieve from each gathering or meeting
If there is no clear goal or achievement set for a particular meeting or gathering, perhaps you should avoid it and use the time in a more efficient manner
- Set common goals and stick to them
Attempt to stick to the matter at hand and keep other employees, staff members, and teammates focused and goal oriented. Do so perhaps by simply stating a verbal sentence that might refocus your team members toward the original game plan by placing some issues that might seem immediate though unrelated on the back burner as in “perhaps we should stick to the matter at hand and discuss this at a later time”.
- Watch for new incoming data and information
Be aware and keep in mind that some issues you may have avoided may become unavoidable. According to Introduction To Conflict Management by Kenneth Thomas, signs of unavoidable issues occur when:
- People have little energy for the issue on the agenda
- An avoided issue keeps coming up
- People are walking on egg shells over an issue that isn’t being faced
If you would like to learn how much of the time you are avoiding issues and situations and whether you are avoiding too much or too little, purchase and complete The Thomas Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument Assessment by clicking HERE.
Thank you for reading today and remember to Acquire and Achieve Personal and Professional Success Each and Everyday!